Gender transition can be a process of affirming and empowering discovery.
We each experience our gender in a unique way and it affects our embodied experience, relationships, sexuality, family, work and emotional well being. I work to support you as a whole person. No matter what terms you use, or what those terms mean to you. I am here to support your process with gender. Gender affirming therapy can help you if:
Gender affirming therapy can help if you:
- feel confused, anxious or overwhelmed about your gender
- wonder am I really trans/non-binary/ (any other gender label here) or is it something else?
- wonder am I really trans/non-binary/ (any other gender identity here) enough? Will I ever feel valid?
- don’t wish to transition at this time and feel isolated
- want to detransition or retransition
- find your transition comes with the challenges of being mid or later in life
- need support around decision-making, relationships and exploring options
- want to approach your gender transition as a process of empowerment and self discovery!
I don’t approach gender exploration and diversity through a lense of brokenness. I am aware of the complex pathologized and medicalized history of gender diverse people in our culture. I approach gender as an opportunity for self discovery, self ownership, joy, meaning and deep connection with others. This means that I believe it is possible to love yourself, love your body, get pleasure from your body and choose to make changes to your body from a place of self care. It means that I believe it is possible to love, define and experience your body on your own terms and not change a thing about your body and be a fully realized gender diverse human. It means I believe in unlearning and re-imagining what stands in the way of you and feeling good in your gender and in your body.
A Somatic Approach to Gender Affirmation
There are many very good reasons why we disconnect from our bodies. This is particularly true for gender diverse people. But here is the thing, when we are deeply hurt it is an experience we register through the whole of ourselves – it floods emotions and our bodies as well as shapes our thoughts. I believe the same is true for deep healing. Healing is not something that can happen with just the mind, it involves a journey with the whole of you, your thoughts, your emotions and your embodied self.
You don’t need to like or feel comfortable in your body to work with me. Having a curiosity about your relationship with your body and a willingness to explore at your own pace what might be possible in your relationship with your body is all you need. Here is an example of some ways that a somatic approach informs my work:
- discussing how to understand, support and regulate your nervous system
- developing tools that help your specific nervous system regulate
- being curious about embodied sensations you are experiencing as we talk
- offering breathwork, meditation and movement during session if it feels helpful
- unlearning, re-imaging, rediscovering what is possible in your relationship to your body
- exploring in an experiential way
Consent is an active part of the healing process. You decide what directions of exploration and practices feel right for you each time we work together. Somatic therapy with me does not involve me touching you, it is focused on your own awareness of your embodied self. Part of honouring you as a whole person is also trusting your pacing and readiness for any work you wish to engage in. Got questions? Check out my FAQ section. Want to book a consultation? Get in touch with me.
“Life is not about finding yourself… it’s about creating yourself” G.B.Shaw
Feeling confident, finding your voice and your pleasure during sex is possible.
Sex therapy is talk therapy focused on helping you address sexual concerns you may have. Sex therapy can help you with:
- When you’d like to feel more confident sexually
- When you have questions about your sexual preferences or identity
- When there is a mismatch sexually between you and your partner(s)
- When you feel anxiety and discomfort during sex
- When you want to find your mojo!
Sex therapy with gender diverse people
I love helping trans and gender diverse people create their best sex life! I facilitate developing a relationship with your body that works for you. Rethinking your body, your sexuality and your pleasure so you can centre what is euphoric and de-centre what isn’t working for you. Sex therapy can help you with:
- When you need to unlearn all that shame that’s been dumped on you
- When you discover new attractions that make your head spin, but not in a good way
- When you and your partner(s) are no longer on the same page sexually
- When you feel anxiety and discomfort during sex
- When you want to find out what deeper pleasure is possible for you!
Sex therapy for women
& people with vulvas and vaginas
People with vaginas have unique needs sexually. There are so many sex-negative messages in our culture they can really impact how sex is experienced. It can feel isolating to struggle with sexual pain, low sexual desire, difficulties communicating or feeling confident sexually. I am here to tell you that if you are experiencing any of these things, you are not alone! Best of all change is possible! I am here to help you find a path to more fulfilling sexual pleasure. Sex therapy can help you:
- When orgasm seems like a country you never get to visit
- When sexual desire is hard to find
- When you don’t feel confident let alone sexy
- When sex is painful
- When past sexual trauma keeps you from the pleasure you want
Sex Therapy for men
& people with penises
People with penises have had to grow up in a culture that ties their sexuality to a particularly narrow set of behaviours and ways of being. This is a setup for feeling pressure and anxiety that can really get in the way of you showing up in your sex life the way you want. The good news is that sex therapy can provide the tools and support you need to feel your best confident sexy self.
- When your penis/ erections/ ejaculations won’t do what you want them to
- When you feel disconnected from your desire
- When you’ve lost your confidence and ease with sex
- When you and your partner(s) can’t seem to get on the same page sexually
- When you really want to “bring your sexy back!”
And sex therapy can do so much more.
lt can help you if you are:
- Questioning your orientation
- Wanting support in navigating kinks, fetishes and BDSM
- Feeling unhappy about your relationship to porn
- Experiencing the impact of illness on sexuality
- Finding your sexuality is getting in the way of living your life
- A human who lives in a sex-negative culture that often proclaims it’s sex positive
Questions are a good thing, if you have some just ask.
“Pleasure is the point. Feeling good is not frivolous, it is freedom. We can gift it to each other in a million ways: with authentic presence, abundant care, and honesty; with boundaries that keep us from overextending; with slower kisses; with foot massages in the evening; with baby hugs and elder hugs; with delicious food; with supported solitude and listening to our bodies, our shameless desire, and coordinated longing” Adrienne Marie Brown
Passionate, joyful, fulfilling, relationships don’t just happen, they are created… one step at a time.
I use evidence based approaches to support you in creating the relationship you want. I can help you when you want to:
- have more fun together and feel excited about your relationship again
- have deep conversations that lead to connection rather than the same fight over and over again
- be able to balance staying connected with letting each other and your relationship grow and change
- understand how you get stuck and how you can get unstuck together
- when you want different things and want each other
- regain trust and a sense of safety in your relationship
- feel joyful about your future together!
Relationship therapy that embraces gender, sexual, erotic and relationship diversity
“It’s not the differences that divide us, it’s our incapacity to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences.” Audre Lorde
Let’s face it, the saying “love is love” doesn’t mention that some loves face very different social, political, and legal realities. As a queer, kinky, gender expansive person or someone in a relationship with a non-traditional structure I can help you with the unique challenges you may face when:
- you are exploring or transitioning gender within a relationship
- you’d like to share more of your sexuality with your partner but are scared to
- you or your partner struggle with shame, low self-worth, internalized homophobia and/or transphobia
- you want to feel more independent or wish your partner was
- you want to have healthier boundaries
- you are exploring the idea of opening up, being polyamorous or are trying it out
- you don’t know how to feel compersion and you’d really like the jealousy to stop already
- you find managing you or your partner(s) family is difficult
- you want both emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy and somehow one or both always seem illusive
Not sure if relationship therapy is right for you? Have questions? Just ask.
“Most people are going to have two or three marriages or committed relationships in their adult life. Some of us will have them with the same person.” Esther Perel
